I wish that I could offer a sure-fire methodology when dealing with emotional injuries sustained when your relationship ends. But the truth is, everyone, experiences different degrees of hurt and pain, and their path to healing varies. You cannot go through life with someone who you’ve given your entire self to without being scarred psychologically and emotionally when the relationship ends. Equally, damaging is when you discover that they’ve given a part of themselves to someone else, which was the case with me. And while everyone’s journey to healing is unique, five biblical declarations helped me move beyond the pain after my husband unexpectedly left our marriage.
CONFESSION 1 – Lord, I’m brokenhearted that my relationship ended. It feels like everything on the inside of me is broken. Not the type of brokenness that is naturally healed over time or that is quickly repaired, but the type that forcibly and perpetually brings you to your knees from anguish. My life was so wrapped up in him/her that I feel lost without him/her. Because I feel lost, I keep hearing words in my head that the relationship is over because, ‘I was not good enough, pretty or handsome enough, or thoughtful enough.” I’m ashamed that I let those words penetrate my heart. I know that the enemy is attacking my identity and delights in preying on my sadness and feelings of brokenness. He wants me to forget who You said I was. Therefore, Father, I declare these words over myself:
DECLARATION: I Will Not Forget Who I Am
- God, your word says that you thought of and knew me before I was born. Your thoughts of me were epic.
- Father, you knew everything about me, my likes and dislikes, when I’d be moody, grumpy, and unforgiving, and despite my imperfections, you promised that you’d never leave nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6).
- And after you had these amazing thoughts of me, you knit me together while I was in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) and made me in your image (Genesis 1:27).
- You deposited gifts on the inside of me that would help me fulfill Your purpose.
- And when you were done thinking and knitting me together, you looked upon me and called me the apple of your eye (Psalm 17:8), your masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), and declared that I was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- Therefore, Lord, never let me forget who I am in you.
CONFESSION 2 – Lord, I’ve made so many bad decisions in my life, including entering relationships that were not aligned with Your will for my life. And while I know that you’ve forgiven me and your grace abounds, I’m having a hard time forgiving myself. Lord, I recognize that a plot and ploy of the enemy is for me to wallow in self-pity and to look for ways to not forgive myself. But I know, as a believer in Christ, that self-condemnation is not why you died on the cross. Teach me oh God not to worship feelings of guilt and self-pity and to release the mindset that forgiveness of myself is necessary. Father, you died so that I can live my life to the fullest and not live life condemning myself.
DECLARATION: I Will Not Hold Myself Hostage, to the Belief That I Need to Forgive Myself
- I am delivered from wrong or bad relationship choices.
- I will release and let go of him/her in my heart.
- Thank you, for the freedom offered through the gift of Your forgiveness.
- Today, I release myself from any belief in opposition to God’s word.
CONFESSION 3 – Lord, most days, I battle with my mind wandering off, thinking about how he/she hurt me. I fight daily against destructive, depressive, and debilitating thoughts. I tend to replay the hurt and pain over and over in my mind and feel tormented by my thoughts and inner voice. Father, I know that your word says as a man thinks, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). I also know that those who delight in your law and meditate on it, day and night, are like a tree planted by streams of water that bears fruit, leaves never wither, and whatever I do will prosper (Psalms 1:2-3). Father, help me to set my mind on things that are above and not below (Colossians 3:1).
DECLARATION: Today, I Take Authority Over All Ungodly Thoughts and Limiting Beliefs
- I demolish every ungodly thought, limiting beliefs, and arguments that sets itself against the knowledge of God and take it captive under the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
- Renew my mind.
- Create in me a relentless desire to meditate on your word daily and pray without ceasing.
- Heal and lead me to living waters.
- I will stop replaying the hurt and offense over and over in my head or continue to tell others how I was wronged.
CONFESSION 4 – Father, before I took authority over my thoughts, I spoke negative words about myself. I shouldered the blame for the relationship ending and felt the burden of guilt for the role that I played in the relationship ending.
DECLARATION: Today, I Will Always Speak Words of Life Over Myself
- Father, you said that life and death are in the power of the tongue, so today and moving forward, I will not speak words of death over my life.
- I will tell myself that I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus, I am the head and not the tail, I’m above and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13), and my life and the lives of my children and family members are blessed.
- Blessing surrounds me like a flood.
CONFESSION 5 – Father, I invested so much of myself in this relationship, and I thought that we would endure difficulties and hardships. And although my heart still aches, today, I stand ready to move beyond my hurt and pain.
DECLARATION: Today, I Will Move Forward, Never Look Back, and Will Stay in Perfect Peace
- Father, you said that you’d give me beauty instead of ashes (Isaiah 6:13) and a double recompense for my former shame (Isiah 6:17).
- Father, you said that you would restore the years that the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25).
- Lord, I know that you have a plan for my life, to prosper and not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11).
- I also know that Your planned purpose for my life shall prevail (Isaiah 14:24).
- So, I thank you Lord because what the enemy thought that he stole from me, you will use my testimony to bless someone else in their season of brokenness.